My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
