hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
