after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
