I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I want to have your abortion
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
