I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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