remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Randomize
