dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
