im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
