Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize