he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
