when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
