Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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