dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We got so high we made milksteak
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
