smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
