Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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