She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
