I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
