Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
