My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
