I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
