all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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