He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
