I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
