I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
