Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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