is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
