i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
