My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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