There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
