so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
