i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
