Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
