I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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