I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
