Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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