I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
