Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
