her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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