I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
