My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
