Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
