I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
third nipple confirmed
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
