butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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