Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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