Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
