Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"

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(253): View more from Washington

i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"

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(914): View more from New York

Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.

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(805): View more from California

He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.

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(214): View more from Texas

You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.

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(804): View more from Virginia

For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor

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(941): View more from Florida

Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse

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(838): View more from

I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now

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