I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
