Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
