I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
