also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Come share oat with me in your robe
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
