u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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