She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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