Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
